Beauty of God: Day 18 - Back to Basics

I came home this evening a wreck.

I mean, maybe not at first. I was chattering away with pops about stuff before he went to bed.

But after a few minutes, it's like suddenly I just wanted everyone to leave me alone. Didn't want to see anyone, talk to anyone. Just complete silence and space.

I get like that when I've been around people all day. Doesn't even have to be a crowd of people. One or two people will do me in.
And especially after work, I need to seriously cool down for a little while, and the last people I want to be around are the ones who stress me out the most at home.

So...I let it show. After a few minutes of being in the house, I didn't really care how pissed off I looked or acted, I wanted everyone around me to leave.

Finally, after a little while (and an awesome gourmet grilled cheese sandwhich), I went to my room, and finally came to grips with how ridiculous and selfish I acted.
I feel totally justified in my actions. So really, I'm not that sorry.

Which isn't good, is it? Especially when I've been trying to make an effort to be better and grow.

And I've been feeling like, especially in this area of my life where I'm finding it hard to tolerate my family's quirks and presence, that whenever I ask God for help, He's not giving it. Even though this is seriously something I can't do on my own.
It feels like their quirks get harder and harder to tolerate.

Maybe I just need more pills.

Or maybe God is trying to tell me something.

I think He's trying to tell me how to get back to basics. Which is something I've felt I need to do.
If I'm feeling like His burden and yoke are heavy, then something is wrong.

I think I'm overcomplicating it all. And this is God's way of telling me...maybe?

I don't think He's forcing my family to annoy the crap out of me. But I think He may be using my frustrations with them to teach me how much I blow it all out of proportion. I mean, they're little quirks. So why do I make such a huge deal out of them?

His yoke is easy, His burden light.

So why do I feel heavy-laden and weary?