Beauty of God: Day 24 - Am I Still Confident of This?

When God gives His best, He gives it, indeed.

That's how I feel today.

But I'm also very discouraged too.

Which doesn't make sense at all.

This Friday is my last day of cleaning the building I've been in since...July? Late June, early July.

I've gotten so used to the people, the building, the routine. Sometimes my co-worker and I work together, which is awesome. The security guards always talk to me, and all the other employees in the building are friendly and welcoming. They've almost become my extended family.

Today, I was surprised with a beautiful white hemp bracelet with blue beads that my co-worker made. As she's showing it to me and explaining where she got the beads, she says, "If it fits, you can have it."

And I'm sitting there like, "For real?! Sweet!"

Then the guards ordered pizza and cinnamon rolls from Papa John's.

My co-worker and I worked as a team all day. Which is awesome, not just because the work gets done quicker, but because we can talk too. It gets awful lonely cleaning those huge administration areas, and I don't have an ipod (don't think I'm allowed to use one anyway).

Even took a while to talk with my co-worker and another lady from another department about sewing.

It really doesn't end there. A lot of awesome and out-of-the-blue stuff has happened this year, but I thought I'd focus on today.

So, it really is true that when God gives His very best, He gives it indeed.

But I'm so afraid of Him taking it away from me.

With this job in this particular building, I've seen this end coming for a while. My time has been extended before, and my "boss" even talked to me about it being extended some more if he doesn't hear back from one of the ladies I'm filling in for.

I feel like there's so much that I have to wait for, and it's driving me nuts. So much uncertainty, and it's terrifying me.

So...what does this all have to do with God's beauty?
Well...I mean, He certainly showed it today through the people I work with. They're some of the most genuine people I've ever met.

And, I guess...maybe all this waiting means I focus on Him even more...? Because I know I'm struggling with knowing whether I'm hearing His truth, or the enemy's lies.

The LORD is my light and my
salvation -
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life-
of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
When my enemies and my foes attack
me,
They will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

Once thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek Him in His temple.
For in the day of trouble
He will keep me safe in His dwelling;
He will hide me in the shelter of His
tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at His tabernacle will I sacrifice with
shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, "Seek His face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in
anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.
Though my father and mother forsake
me,
the LORD will receive me.
Teach me your way, O LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27

My foes and oppressors?

Fear.

False witnesses?

Doubt.