Beauty of God: Day 28 - It's All Comin' Together

I know it's pretty elementary to know that it doesn't matter who you are or what you've done, God is still gonna love you.

But I'm finding it extremely profound that I can be as angry with God as I want to be about whatever, and He's going to go against my grain and love me. He's not gonna go all "human nature" on me and play any kind of blame-game, or blow anything out of proportion. I'm sure He feels hurt, He doesn't want me to be angry with Him, but that doesn't mean He gets angry with me in return. He will sit there calmly and speak love and the honest to Him truth about the matter.

I felt really guilty about being mad at Him this week, and especially yesterday during church. It's like one of those awkward things, where you see someone you're mad at, but you're around other people so you don't want to make a scene. I've been feeling like there's no point in praying as well.

I guess the only difference is He won't react the way we would expect someone else to act. Like, if someone was mad at me, I would feel very hurt, but then I'd end up just getting angry back and overexagerate the issue. Or I would just feel total animosity towards the person, especially if nothing was worked out. Or I would cower down and think it all was my fault, whether it was or not.

With God, there's only total and raw honesty in the situation. He knows what the deal is. He knows His way is better, and that though it may upset me that I don't know what the future holds, that's not going to stop Him from going through with His plan. He's not gonna throw in the towel in cowardice towards my anger. He knows when it's His doing or ours, and I think He's pretty good at making it clear....

I don't think He likes that He has to with-hold these things from us all the time. A father typically wants to give his children the very best, right? He doesn't want his children to be unhappy.
And, I mean, you can't get any better of a best when it comes to THE Father. And He doesn't wish to make us unhappy, He just knows what is absolutely, honestly, and ultimately best for us.

I'm still finding it hard to really talk to Him again, because it's weird trying to wrap my brain around this. But it's an effort I'm willing to make, because I want to believe it.

I know that through all this confusion and uncertainty, I shouldn't have thrown a temper-tantrum like a two year old. I should have, at the very least, praised God for what He's taught me so far, and kept asking Him to keep preparing me for whatever it is He has me waiting for. Like I said, He knows whose fault it really is, and makes it clear. He knows I'm just impatient.

And just because He loves me no matter what, that doesn't mean I should or can remain angry with Him. He doesn't owe me anything, and He certainly doesn't deserve my anger. I'm just a bratty human who needs to grow up and push through the frustrations.