Introductions

So, hi there. I suppose it would be fitting to introduce myself fully before jumping in to some crazy scatterbrained rambling of sorts. I mostly want to let you know what I'll be blogging about. Just like the URL states, this really is going to be a rather scatterbrained rambling type of blog, because that's how I think and tend to talk. I'm much better at expressing my thoughts and feelings through art. But I'm seeking ways to improve, and I think this would be one of those ways. Also, I tend to bottle up my feelings and thoughts to a fault - the worst fault anyone could find in any other person on this planet.

Bottom line here: I need to learn how to clearly express myself in a healthy way.

I know artwork is a healthy way of expression, but no one seems to want to ask why I drew something the way I did, i.e., if there was any deep, emotional reason to the piece. I keep getting all this "positive" feedback...? You know, where it feels like someone is only complimenting because they think that's what you want them to say? When really, you want them to be open and honest and to ask questions, etc. Thus, the, I suppose "physical" aspect of my feelings was released, but not the deep emotional ties and reasons. And maybe that's all my own fault, because I have a hard time dumping my troubles on people. My philosophy: they've got their own problems to worry about; they don't need someone like me adding to the load on their shoulders.
That doesn't mean that I don't mind listening to their problems - I just don't want them to feel like they HAVE to listen to mine.

But maybe blogging about how I feel - if I make sure it has a point to it that's not all "me me me rant rant rant" - will help, in some way, to eleviate this emotional weight in my heart...?

I'm going to say right now that I apologize most deeply for any blog entry I post that has too much "all about me" rant and not enough "life lesson learned" and "where I stand on such and such an issue".
You're probably thinking, "Uh...why doesn't she just keep a journal? Sounds like all she's gonna do is whine and bitch about life like every other attention whore out there!"

Well, yes, you're probably right. I SHOULD keep a journal. I've tried, and it doesn't have the same appeal as a blog. Maybe I'm getting too modern, losing that touch with the old-school "quil and ink". But, like I said, I'm not trying to make this a ranting/whining blog, but one in which I can express myself and get my thoughgts out there.

Maybe this will make more sense (see? I need improvement): Have you ever had a conversation, either with yourself (like me) or another person, where you end up giving advice on an issue you have been struggling with too? (And does anyone else feel like a complete hypocrite afterwards?)

Well...I think this is the big reason why I want to post my thoughts and feelings on this blog. Whenever I have those conversations (yes, with myself. Is my life an epic fail or what?), I end up learning or realizing something important. I guess I figure, if I can post it, maybe it will give me more motivation to really live by what I say. Especially if I've got some feedback.

Here's the dealio: this blog will be containing my innermost feelings and concerns about life - yeah, my life - but I'm going to try to make sure that what I say can be applied to anyone too, i.e. any advice I give, which you can chose to take or leave.
I also wish to say that I keep a very open mind, so please feel free to tell me what you're thinking on such issues. Maybe you can relate to what I'm saying and we can talk about it.
I try not to be judgemental, so please don't take anything I say personally. I try to live by the Golden Rule - you and I may not agree with each other about some things, i.e. our lifestyles, beliefs, opinions, etc., but that doesn't mean that we can't agree to disagree.

So.
There's that. As I continue to blog, you'll learn a lot more about me, and hopefully, I'll learn something about you too. I hope everything I said has made some sort of sense...like I said, I'm scatterbrained and tend to ramble.
And don't worry, the next blog should be less blargh :]

Blessings,
Jenni