Beauty of God: Day 27 - Somethin' About the Sabbath...

Today's been a pretty fulfilling day.
My brother, sister-in-law, and nephews are here.
We all went to church as a family, which hasn't been done in many, many years.

I'm sure it's funny for everyone at church to see my brother chasing his nephew around, when they remember when it was our dad chasing my brother.

Spending quality time with the kids has been great, especially my oldest nephew, who's goin' on two soon.

This was one of those days that started out rough, but gradually got better and better.

Going to church - well, the act of it wasn't a big deal. It was when I got there and felt I had no business there. I was still pretty angry at God, and felt like participating in the worship was almost blasphemous.
I held my youngest nephew wrong.

I mean, it's not like I held the kid upside down or anything, but for some reason I wasn't supporting his head the way I should have been, and felt awful when six hands reached for him as his upper-half leaned backwards. In my defence, there's a reason why I'm not a mother right now: obviously, I'm not ready for kids.
But I should have had more common sense.

Anyway, still feeling all this, not only does the sermon, again, fit in with a lot of what I'm struggling with, a friend of mine who I look up to immensely talked with me and offered to pray for me, which touched my heart to no end.

As the day goes on, I spent more time with my oldest nephew, learned how to entertain him while his dad and our younger brother played flag football (which also touched my heart to see the two of them together like brothers should be).

Was able to talk to my friend for like...three hours, maybe more, and had an awesome time. Hope he did too, although I believe he fell asleep. Either he was REALLY tired, or I'm just REALLY boring.

I think I've finally reached a point where I can make my peace with God. Really, I think that's the point of this update. Because I've been feeling pretty unworthy of His love and attention because of how angry I was. But after my friend prayed for me, it all began to fall back into place, sort of. Like, there's still that part of me that demands clarity, but I think I can finally own up to my own defeat, that God's trying to teach me something.