Beauty of God: Day 7 - Burnt Out...Not So Bright, Really

I think there's a huge re-occuring theme going on this month.

Worry.

Or, learning not to worry.

Which is really hard for someone like me, who worries about and overcomplicates everything.

For example, I have so much that I need to do: get important projects done (like illustrations), design a logo for my pastor, as well as keep up with having devotionals and Bible studies.

To top it all off, I've volunteered/been volunteered to display and sell some artwork and photography (and maybe some textiles)for a fundraiser. And it's super short notice, which is driving me nuts.

My job has taken a lot out of me, and I'm still adjusting to the schedule. I work late, then can't sleep till later, then sleep all day till I only have about four hours left of it before work again.

And it's driving me nuts, because I can't get into any projects without having to stop and get ready for work (or taking a nap).

My weekends keep filling up with stuff. And I can't make up my mind if I want a weekend free to finish these projects, or free to do whatever I want, like hanging out and talking with friends, giving them quality time. Or painting for me, because I haven't dont that in a long time either, and I miss it.

It's burning me out.

But...this isn't the end.
This doesn't have to be as complicated as I'm making it out to be.

I'm so worried that I won't be able to finish anything, so I'm afraid to start anything.

But a thought came to me: it will all get done.
If God has ordained it, nothing can prevent it from happening, except myself.

And it's ok to start small.
That's something I've been learning as far as Bible studies go. For a while, I WAS starting small, picking at short sections within chapters. Then I started rushing them, because I suddenly decided I wanted to learn faster.

But that's not how God always works, is it?
He doesn't always immediately make things happen, you know?

Kinda like, just because I have the idea in my head doesn't make a painting immediately appear. I have to go through the process of sketching it out, planning, transferring, and then start with layers of color until it's finished. And it's a journey.

I think that's my issue, why I worry. I want things to be immediately done, so that I'll have more time to get other things done. But that's not how life works. I have to go through the desert to reach the promised land.
And nothing is impossible, because with God, all things are possible.

So why should I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need.
You know what I need

Your love is,
Your love is,
Your love is strong

...Two things You told me
That You are strong
and You love me

- Jon Foreman, Your Love is Strong

God knows I want to finish these projects. He's teaching me that it's ok to start small. No need to worry or burn myself out about it.
Love Him first, with all my heart, mind, and soul. Know that He is in control of everything, and all will be completed in it's time.

So, the beauty learned today: That it's ok to be, as Oswald Chambers puts it, carefully careless about all that's going on. It's ok to take a step back and say, "I can't handle all this on my own, or so much at a time. God, help me start small."
He's there every step of the way.